Apparently, company bigwigs decided that changing the number of the floor–which houses all the executive suites–would stop employees from referring to management as “the fourth floor” (as in “You won’t believe what the fourth floor did today” or “Naturally, the layoffs don’t affect the fourth floor”).
So presto, they turned it into the fifth floor. The elevators now stop at 1, 2, 3 and . . . 5, all room numbers on the floor no longer begin with a “4” and corporate directories were reprinted to eliminate any trace of the number that dare not speak its name.
We wanted to ask Hunt-Wesson if it also plans to refer to the Fourth of July as July 5, but we were told that the company’s lone spokeswoman was on the road (perhaps in her new five-wheel-drive sport utility vehicle) and unavailable for comment.
Meanwhile, employees have begun referring to management as “the fifth floor,” and the Beatles are now known as the Fab Five.
Lydia was a contractor of Hunt Wesson when this occurred. She and her friend ran to the renumbered building. ‘GTFO’, said Lydia’s friend as they read the numbers in the elevator: ‘1’, ‘2’, ‘3’, 5′. – Ed